بسم ﷲ الرحمٰن الرحیم
The dealings of Nabi ﷺ with the Azwaj e Mutahharat and his family
Fatima Noor
TIL Women English – Year 4
لَّقَدْ كَانَ لَكُمْ فِي رَسُولِ اللَّهِ أُسْوَةٌ حَسَنَةٌ لِّمَن كَانَ يَرْجُو اللَّهَ وَالْيَوْمَ الْآخِرَ وَذَكَرَ اللَّهَ كَثِيرًا (۲۱)
“Indeed, there is a good example for you in [the character of] the Messenger; [and] for those who have hope for God, and the Last Day, and remember God much.” (Surah Ahzab: Ayah 21)
As the ayah mentions, Nabi ﷺ’s character is the best example for us to take lessons from. The life of Nabi ﷺ not is an example for one’s own self but it also teaches how to deal with others socially and privately.
The Household of Nabi ﷺ:
Last part of verse 33 of Surah Ahzab, states:
“… Allah only intends to keep ˹the causes of˺ evil away from you and purify you completely, O members of the ˹Prophet’s˺ family!” (Surah Ahzab: Ayah 33)
The verse praises Nabi ﷺ and the Ahlul Bait and states that Allah has purified and cleansed them from every evil because they were so pious, righteous, and virtuous. Nabi ﷺ dealt with his wives, children and other relatives with fairness, compassion, affection, patience and wisdom.
Nabi ﷺ’s relationship with his wives:
All the marriages of Nabi ﷺ encompassed various situations and aspects, serving as a perfect example for us in numerous ways. Nabi ﷺ had 9 wives when he passed away giving us an abundance of examples on how to live with our relatives.
Nabi ﷺ first marriage, with Khadija رضی اللہ عنھا, shows us the aspect of monogamous life and immense support and loyalty. Khadija رضی اللہ عنھا was very loyal and firm supporter of Nabi ﷺ before and throughout the early years of prophethood. When first Wahi was revealed to Nabi ﷺ, he ﷺ was scared and worried. He ﷺ confided in Khadjia رضی اللہ عنھا about it right away. Khadija رضی اللہ عنھا consoled him ﷺ, reminding him ﷺ of his good virtues that Allah would never disgrace him and he ﷺ is a prophet.
Even after she رضی اللہ عنھا passed away, Nabi ﷺ remembered her often. In hadith 3818 of Sahih Bukhari, Ayesha رضی اللہ عنھا mentioned regarding Khadija رضی اللہ عنھا:
“I did not feel jealous of any of the wives of the Prophet (ﷺ) as much as I did of Khadija though I did not see her, but the Prophet (ﷺ) used to mention her very often, and whenever he slaughtered a sheep, he would cut its parts and send them to the women friends of Khadija. When I sometimes said to him, “(You treat Khadija in such a way) as if there is no woman on earth except Khadija,” he would say, “Khadija was such-and-such, and from her I had children.”
1. Nabi ﷺ was fair with his wives:
After her passing, Nabi ﷺ married the remaining Azwaaj mutahharaat. Even though Nabi ﷺ had many wives at once, he made sure to treat them all equally. Nabi ﷺ always made sure to be considerate of his wives in every small action, ensuring there was never even the slightest possibility of breaching their rights. One such example is when Nabi ﷺ went on journeys, he ﷺ would draw lots among his wives and take them by turns.
To maintain fairness, the wives lived separately, and Nabi ﷺ visited each of them in their respective homes. He ﷺ allocated a specific day and night for each wife; however, Saudah رضی اللہ عنھا chose to relinquish her day to Ayesha رضی اللہ عنھا out of love and thoughtfulness. Saudah رضی اللہ عنھا, who was older and held a deep affection for Ayesha رضی اللہ عنھا, wanted to facilitate more time for the Prophet ﷺ to spend with Ayesha, particularly given their special connection and her youth. Also, when Nabi ﷺ fell sick before he passed away, “he ﷺ asked the permission of his wives that he should be treated in my house, and they permitted him” [Sahih Bukhari: 3099]
Nabi ﷺ showed affection to his wives:
Nabi ﷺ was very affectionate with his wives. Nabi ﷺ didn’t shy away from helping the Ummahatul Mu’mineen or having fun and quality time with each of his wives. Hazrat Ayesha رضی اللہ عنھا mentioned about a journey in which she raced Nabi ﷺ on foot and beat him, but later, when she grew older, they raced again and he ﷺ won. He ﷺ said, “This makes up for that beating.” [Mishkat al-Masabih: 3251]
Patience and Hilm of Nabi ﷺ :
Nobody was more patient and caring than Nabi ﷺ. The famous incident of Ayesha رضی اللہ عنھا when on the return from a journey, she lost her necklace and Nabi ﷺ stopped the sahaba and searched for the necklace until it was found much later in the evening.
Another example of his ﷺ forbearance and hilm was when Ayesha رضی اللہ عنھا got jealous because Umm Salamah sent some food from her house to Nabi ﷺ and the sahaba رضی اللہ عنھم who were present at Ayesha’s house at the time, as the narration goes that she broke the dish. The Prophet gathered the broken pieces of the dish and said: “Eat; your mother got jealous,” twice. Then the Messenger of Allah took the dish of ‘Aishah and sent it to Umm Salamah and he gave the dish of Umm Salamah to ‘Aishah. [Sunan an-Nasa’i 3956]. Nabi ﷺ didn’t get angry at Ayesha رضی اللہ عنھا nor scolded or raised his voice at her. SubhanAllah! What a beautiful example.
Nabi ﷺ always encouraged others to fulfill the rights of the wives and to take care of them. Abu Hurairah r.a. narrated that Nabi ﷺ said:
أَكْمَلُ الْمُؤْمِنِينَ إِيمَانًا أَحْسَنُهُمْ خُلُقًا وَخِيَارُكُمْ خِيَارُكُمْ لِنِسَائِهِمْ خُلُقًا
“The most complete of the believers in faith, is the one with the best of character. And the best of you are those who are
best to their women.”
[Sunan At-Tirmizi: 1162]
Nabi ﷺ with children:
Nabi ﷺ made an effort to educate children in a kind manner yet raising them on Islamic principles. He ﷺ treated every child with the same kind of love and compassion.
Nabi ﷺ never showed harshness to children. In regards to this, Anas ibn Malik رضي الله عنه narrated:
“I served the Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, for ten years. He never said ‘uff’ to me and he never questioned me about anything I had not done, asking, ‘Why didn’t you do it?’ or questioned me about something I had done, asking ‘Why did you do that?'” [Al-Adab Al-Mufrad: 277]
Nabi ﷺ displayed his love for children openly. Aisha رضی اللہ عنھا said about Fatima رضی اللہ عنھا, the daughter of Nabi ﷺ and Khadija رضی اللہ عنھا that
“When she came to him, he stood up for her, made her welcome, kissed her and had her sit in his place. When the Prophet came to her, she stood up for him, took his hand, made him welcome, kissed him, and made him sit in her place. She came to him during his final illness and he greeted her and kissed her.” [Al-Adab Al-Mufrad: 971]
Likewise, Nabi ﷺ loved his grandchildren from his beloved daughter as well so much that he would let Hassan رضي الله عنه and Hussain رضي الله عنه play around him and he ﷺ even prolonged the sujood when they got onto his back, waiting until they got down.
The emphasis of love for children can be seen in the hadith from Ibn Abbas رضي الله عنه that Nabi ﷺ said,
“He is not one of us who is not merciful to our young, nor respects the rights of our elders, nor enjoins good, nor forbids evil.” [Tirmidhi: 1921]
Nabi ﷺ with his relatives:
Nabi ﷺ maintained relations with his family and tribe before and after prophethood. He never turned away from them even though many of them rejected his message, hurt him, severed ties with him and even hurt those close to him.
He ﷺ heavily encouraged others to do the same. Nabi ﷺ propagated Islam to his family after his house. Nabi ﷺ said, “Treating your kin with the same kindness they treat you with does not count as protecting and looking out for them. The person who truly protects and looks out for his kin is the one who keeps benefiting them even when they break their relations with him.”. [Sahih Bukhari, Book 78, Hadith 2 and Sahih Muslim, Book 32, Hadith 6185.]
Nabi ﷺ always kept those of his family who supported the Muslims and him in mind. Nabi ﷺ was in the middle of the lineage of Quraish’s tribe; meaning he ﷺ had relations with all the branches of the tribe. Since the relatives of Nabi ﷺ were prohibited from accepting zakat, they were only permitted to receive shares from the spoils of war. One such example is when Nabi ﷺ allocated a portion of the ⅕ share of the booty to his relatives. He ﷺ included both Banu Hashim and Banu Muttalib. On this topic of family lineage and keeping ties, Nabi ﷺ said,
“Learn enough about your lineage to facilitate keeping your ties of kinship. For indeed keeping the ties of kinship encourages affection among the relatives, increases the wealth, and increases the lifespan.” [Tirmidhi: 1979]
In conclusion, Nabi ﷺ gave importance to all of the relationships. He treated them all with love and respect. The beautiful lessons from the life of Nabi ﷺ are a means of guidance for us in making our relations peaceful among close family and relatives. May Allah give us the Tawfeeq to follow in the footsteps of Nabi ﷺ! آمیــــــــن يارب العالمیــــــــــن
جزاك اللّٰه خيرا كثيرا
