“Would you mind switching the seat, please? I am sandwiched between two men,” I asked politely.
“Yes, I do mind,” he replied calmly.
That one sentence said everything. Courtesy is disappearing. Respect has faded. Roles are confused. Values are upside down. And sadly, I no longer expect better.
Why Does this Post Matter?
Because this isn’t just about a seat in the airplane. It’s about a much deeper problem — the unraveling of who we are as women, as Muslims, and as a society. This is not a rant — it’s a reflection from a woman watching Pakistani society change before her eyes. How did we get here? And how do we reclaim what we’ve lost?
Where Did All the Respect Go?
There was a time when men were naturally courteous — held doors, helped lift luggage, offered a seat — not because women were weak, but because respect was a virtue. But now? Men hesitate. Women feel insulted by help. Courtesy is seen as outdated.
Who do I blame?
Modern feminism — not the original fight for dignity, but the twisted version that blurred gender roles, confused men and women alike, and made everyone unsure of how to just be human.
Islam’s View: Empowerment with Purpose
Islam did not oppress women — it honored them. A woman in Islam is not a rival to man, but his complement.
- As a mother, Jannah lies beneath her feet.
- As a wife, she completes half his deen.
- As a daughter, she opens the doors to mercy.
- As a sister, she brings barakah to the home.
Islam gave women protection, dignity, rights in inheritance, education, and a voice in society — without stripping them of their femininity.
It never asked women to become men. It asked them to become the best of women. Islam never denied women ambition — it simply honoured their priorities first.
From Balance to Burnout
Modern feminism told women they must do it all – earn like a man, nurture like a mother, serve like a wife, and never complain.n The result? Homes are unstable. Children are neglected. Divorce rates have risen. Men feel unnecessary. Women feel exhausted. Motherhood is mocked. Housework is humiliation. Modesty is seen as a weakness. But Islam teaches that nurturing is strength, and modesty is power. A woman’s role is not lesser — it is foundational.
The Equality Trap
In today’s workplace, maternity leave — once a sign of respect for motherhood — is now seen as a liability. Women are quietly penalized, side-lined, or pressured to delay families and hide their maternal needs just to stay “equal.” This is one reason behind the gender pay gap — but few are willing to admit it. Islam, on the other hand, never made women choose between motherhood and honour. It gave them both — with dignity and support.
Corrupted Movements & Cultural Invasion
Movements like “Mera Jism Meri Marzi” claimed to fight for women suffering domestic abuse — but instead, we saw vulgar slogans, half-dressed processions, and veiled agendas promoting LGBTQ+ under the guise of freedom. And then, the western culture, liberal celebrities, and our own morally bankrupt dramas have flooded our screens and hearts. We glorify betrayal, adultery, shamelessness, and rebellion — while mocking religion, hijab, and women of modesty.
When Vulgarity Becomes Pride
Not long ago, a Pakistani actress posted a video dancing on the streets of London at night. What was the point? Even British locals do not do that. But here we are — desperate to prove we are “just like them.” Free, bold, wild.
To whom are we proving this? To a world that doesn’t even value us?
Is Allah not our God? Is His approval not enough?
And yet, our Pakistani “award shows” showcase women competing with each other in nudity, body display, and Bollywood-style vulgarity with pride — all in the name of art. Advertisements in our fashion industry no longer show women — they show skin. This is not liberation. It’s self-inflicted humiliation.
What Must You and I Do?
It’s time to return to what truly honours us women and our society.
- Learn from the wives of the Prophet Muhammad (S.A.W.)
- Raise girls who know their worth in Allah’s eyes
- Teach boys to be protectors, not competitors
- Celebrate femininity, modesty, and motherhood – not rebel against them
- Stop letting influencers raise our daughters — let Qur’an, Seerah, and righteous women lead them
Let us raise women who are proud to be Muslim — unapologetically.
A Final Cry From My Heart
We traded honour for slogans. We replaced role models with influencers. We stripped our daughters of shame and called it freedom.
My dearest sisters, It’s time to wake up.
How can women who idolize Instagram trends produce the likes of Khadijah (R.A), Aisha (R.A), Rabiya Basri – women who shaped history, preserved hadith, defended Islam, and nurtured nations?
How can we expect the glory of Islam to return — when we are sinking deeper into imitation, confusion, and self-erasure?
We are not just losing values — we are losing our legacy.
I am not asking women to not have careers — I am asking for a space where women don’t have to lose themselves to succeed.
May Allah guide us, forgive us, and make us brave.
Ameen.
Disclaimer: This post does not disregard the many sincere, hardworking Muslim women who are striving to balance career, family, and faith with grace. May Allah reward them. But it is about the rest of us — to reflect, to return, and to rebuild
